ep 10

Discover Your Tendency to 
Live Happier & Make Your Dreams a Reality

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Want to make more progress in making your dreams and projects a reality?

Once you understand how to work within the framework of your own nature, you'll be on your way!

I've been exploring a truly amazing framework over the past couple of years that has given me incredible insight into myself, my husband and our adult children, and revolutionised the way we work together.  It's called . . .


I just LOVE this personality framework by Gretchen Rubin!

It has been the most insightful discovery, with the most positive and helpful consequences that I've ever come across, leading to a delightful extra level of happiness in my daily life.

This insightful framework places us in one of four tendencies that describe how we react to expectations, which explains why we act, and why we don't act.  Each tendency reacts differently to:

* Inner expectations (expectations we place on ourselves, such as how well we can create and maintain new habits, how we move towards a goal, whether or not we like and/or keep New Year's Resolutions)

* Outer expectations (expectations others place on us, like meeting a work deadline, turning up for a class, or washing our coffee mugs)

What Gretchen discovered was that depending on a person's response to outer and inner expectations, that person falls into one of four distinct types:

Upholders respond readily to both outer expectations and inner expectations.

They value self-command and performance.
The best strategy for meeting expectations for Upholders tends to be Scheduling.

Questioners question all expectations; they meet an expectation only if they believe it's justified, so in effect they respond only to inner expectations.

Questioners value justification and purpose.
The best strategy for a Questioner to meet expectations or create a new habit is Clarity.

Obligers respond readily to outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations.

Obligers value teamwork and duty.
Obligers will easily meet expectations or create a new habit when there is Accountability.

Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.

Rebels value freedom and self-identity.
For a Rebel to do anything happily, they'll want Freedom and Choice.

Gretchen noticed over many years of studying happiness and habits, that " there's no magic, one-size-fits-all answer for building a happier, healthier, more productive life.  Different strategies work for difference people.  In fact, what works for one person may be the very opposite of what works for someone else." 

She says, "With wisdom, experience, and self-knowledge from the Four Tendencies, we can use our time more productively, make better decisions, suffer less stress, get healthier, and engage more effectively with other people."

In my own personal life, I've found it to be enormously insightful.  I now understand how and why I react in certain ways (I'm a Questioner), and why my husband acts and reacts in certain ways (he's a Rebel). 

Now when my husband and I talk about anything related to plans, habits, assistance with something, even his own plans for himself (such as what he wants to do the following day, eating and exercise habits he talks about changing), I insert any of my own thoughts and/or suggestions in such a way that he feels totally free to choose, because I know that he won't do it if he feels the pressure of expectation.  And he has become more patient with my questions because he understands that I'll be much happier to comply if I know why.

Also in my coaching; in my CLUB membership and with my Team here in Sydney, I can be a much more effective coach when I understand what makes each person act and react.  I can present things in ways that will work for them, individually.  I can put accountability in place for the lovely Obligers.  Make sure that I offer clarity in the form of reasons and purpose for our fabulous Questioners.  Build in freedom, choice and a link to identity for our gorgeous Rebels.  And give very clear directions for the incredible Upholders.

For yourself, once you understand your own Tendency, you will be able to more easily and successfully take steps to get a new project up and running, such as starting your first language session, or any endeavour that you dream of, because you can put in place all the ingredients that work for YOU.

I present a full overview of the T
endencies in this episode, along with simple strategies to helping each Tendency shine, all gleaned from the wonderful work of Gretchen Rubin . . . I can attest to the benefits from personal experience.

If you're someone who has dreams you'd like to fulfil, things you'd like to do, and people you'd like to communicate more effectively with, you'll just love this episode.

Find your voice.  Be your voice.  Create something AMAZING with your voice.

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Find The Four Tendencies book and all of Gretchen Rubin's work at https://gretchenrubin.com/

Love this episode?  Email me and let me know what you enjoyed and how it may have helped you.  judith@cocorico.com.au

I am introducing more and more of these gorgeous life and happiness-enhancing workshops in CLUB Cocorico! Find out how you, too, can access long-term support and coaching to not only start and grow your own language sessions, but to live your own life by design, in my online membership, CLUB Cocorico.

Cocorico Collective Facebook Group
Join myself and other wonderful bilingual women who are looking to start their very own language sessions in my FREE Facebook Group, Cocorico Collective.

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